Never argue with an idiot. They pull you down to their level, then beat you with ...

Never argue with an idiot. They pull you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

Old software engineers never die. They just log out.

Old software engineers never die. They just log out.

Men are like computers: Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like computers: Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered ...

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons!

Old software engineers never die, they just reboot.

Old software engineers never die, they just reboot.

Never argue with an idiot. They pull you down to their level, then beat you with ...

Never argue with an idiot. They pull you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

Men are like computers: Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like computers: Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like computers: Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like computers: Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

The local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from ...

The local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The volunteer in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of more than $600,000 you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... No."

"Second, that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheel chair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was cut off.

"Third, that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea ..."

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "... And I don't give any money to them, so why should I give any to you?!?"

Men are like computers: Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like computers: Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Old software engineers never die, they just reboot.

Old software engineers never die, they just reboot.

Old software engineers never die, they just reboot.

Old software engineers never die, they just reboot.

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

Never argue with an idiot. They pull you down to their level, then beat you with ...

Never argue with an idiot. They pull you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered ...

Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons!