A little girl goes to see Santa Claus at the local shopping mall. When she ...

A little girl goes to see Santa Claus at the local shopping mall. When she arrives and sits down on Santa's lap Santa asks "What do you want for Christmas little girl?".

"I want a Barbie and a GI Joe" says the little girl.

"But Barbie comes with Ken" Santa says,

"No, Barbie only 'cums' with GI Joe!"

After a meeting with the Pope, Bill Clinton held a press conference and ...

After a meeting with the Pope, Bill Clinton held a press conference and announced that they had a very successful conference and had agreed on about 60% of what they discussed.

When asked what they discussed, Clinton replied: "The Ten Commandments."

"Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every ...

"Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend?" asked Jane's best friend.

"Why shouldn't I?" said Jane.

"Well, maybe he is having an affair?"

"No way" said Jane "he never returns with any fish..."

A cowboy from Montana and a cowboy from California are on a sheep drive. They ...

A cowboy from Montana and a cowboy from California are on a sheep drive. They have been out for weeks and have been pulling sheep out of the mud and working really hard. Eventually they come across a sheep with her head stuck in the fence.

They are both very lonely, so the cowboy from Montana says "I'm first!" and he drops his pants and mounts the sheep. When he is finished, he steps back, looks at the California cowboy, and says "You're next".

The California cowboy drops his pants and sticks his head in the fence.

Son: "Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don't know what ...

Son: "Daddy, I have to write a special report for school, but I don't know what Politics is."

Father: "Well, let's take our home as an example. I am the bread-winner, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mum is the administrator of money, so we'll call her Government. We take care of your need, so let's call you The People. We'll call the maid the Working Class and your brother we can call The Future. Do you understand son?"

Son: "I'm not really sure, Dad. I'll have to think about it."

That night awakened by his brother's crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents' room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid's room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy's knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep.

The next morning he reported to his father.

Son: "Dad, now I think I understand what Politics is."

Father: "Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?"

Son: "Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of Shit."